


Hard Decisions

by eliasmontesn



Series: Writing Challenge -September 2020 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Family, Gen, Trans Tim Drake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26431327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliasmontesn/pseuds/eliasmontesn
Summary: Tim wants to get top surgery, but life's a lot more complicated than that. He has some conversations with his family about his fears.Part of the writing challenge me and my friends are doing.
Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Writing Challenge -September 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918321
Comments: 3
Kudos: 107





	Hard Decisions

Tim doesn’t know what to do. He knows his missing spleen would make his recovery even slower, besides if Red Robin disappears while Tim Drake Wayne is taking a medical leave people might start putting pieces together. God knows he figured Bruce and Dick out with way less. But it’s the first time in years everyone in the family is legally and more important  **really** alive to help him through it. And dammit, he’s 19 and he’s rich, and he wants top surgery already.

“You should do it.”

The only reason why the owner of the voice isn’t impaled right now is because Dick is faster then Tim’s aim.

“Really! There’s no one in Gotham who’s as smart as you to figure it out.” He points at the notebook where the pros and cons list was written. “And we have more than enough people to cover for you on the night job.”

“Has it occured to you that I might like the night job?” Tim’s question rhetoric. Everyone of them goes stir crazy if Bruce benches them for a weekend. Dick knows no one wants to be kept from the uniform.

“It’s not like being grounded. You’d still be able to do detective work, or work the coms.” Dick is following him out of his room with the notebook in hand, when he notices the next bedroom is not vacant today. Dammit. “Cass! Back me up.”

Cass does not look ready to back anyone up. By the bags under her eyes she got back from Hong Kong in a redeye and is firmly regretting that decision. But she does seem more awake when she finishes reading the list and throws it back at Dick.

“You should definitely do it.” She’s signing while she walks backwards and both Tim and Dick have to guide her by the elbows before she hits a vase almost as old as the house. “We could take turns in your uniform. No one would notice RR is missing.”

She does make a compelling argument.

They make it to the kitchen without breaking any heirlooms at least. But it is a close call of Tim almost falling over the crystal cabinet when he sees Jason having tea with Alfred in the kitchen.

“Calm down replacement.” He’s doing his weird joke face. Oh no. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

While Cassandra laughs and Alfred releases a polite chuckle, it barely gets an eye roll out of Tim and Dick doesn’t seem to be paying a lot of attention right now.

“Jason, tell Tim to get his top surgery already.” He’s waving the list up and down on his hand like a lunatic. How the man got to be the head of his nursing staff is a mystery.

“I don’t think it’s really my place to tell anyone what to do with their bodies, Golden Boy.” He turns to where Tim is pouring himself another cup of coffee. His punishment for working 52 hours straight and then passing out was the removal of a personal coffee maker in his room. “What’s Blue blabbering about?”

“I’m considering getting top surgery this year, but I don’t know if the pros outweigh the cons.” This is good. Alfred is known for thinking things through. Besides, Jason is much more logical than Dick, and not as idealistic as Cassandra. They’ll understand it’s a complicated decision that needs wavering… aaaand Tim lost them.

Tim knows before he even opens his mouth. Jason might be logical and realistic, but he also has a harsh story when it comes to, you know, having a body.

“You need to do it! You talk about having your tits cut off since I’ve met you!” There’s a silence in the kitchen while they stare at Jason. “Okay, since I stopped trying to kill you.You’d feel great, it would make you feel better after patrol. I know your back is always hurting from the bat binder. It technically wasn’t made for fighting crime, except for the part it literally was.”

Oh yes. The bat binder: a compression sports bra, which is safe enough to fight in that Wayne Enterprises patented as a “Sports Binder”. Nobody ever calls it that. It’s first iteration had a batman symbol on it and the title stuck. Not that any of them are complaining.

“It would improve the way you feel about yourself, master Drake, and perhaps it could better your work-life balance as well.”

“It’s not that simple..”

“Why don’t you tell your problems to someone who has more than three braincells and I’ll make it simple.” Good, just what he wanted. The brat’s involvement. 

“We’re not telling you anything about Tim’s life unless you promise not to be mean.” Dick said, reminding Tim why he was still one of his favorite people.

“He’s thinking about having top surgery” Jason said at the same time, reminding Tim of the good times back when he refused to set foot at the manor.

Damien seems to be pondering the best way to mock Tim, when the only person who can really sneak into a room where all six of them are together talks.

“You’re thinking about top surgery?” Bruce’s voice is that weird pitch. Not Batman’s gravel and not Brucie’s honeyed one. It’s a New Jersey/British mesh made in hell that always makes Tim think of home. Bruce’s real voice is rare and only ever heard by the people who are in the room right now.

No one really says anything. Tim knows the question was meant for him, but it’s almost like he’s thirteen again, stuck in the porch of Dick Grayson, biting more than he can chew. He knows this family is different. But he would’ve never discussed anything about transitioning to his biological parents. He would have never discussed anything about himself with them. Some habits are just hard to break. He knows he’s gone too long without saying anything when Bruce talks again.

“Son, it’s alright. You know it is. We can talk about it now, or later, or you can just make your decision and we’ll stand by you, alright?” Bruce’s hand is up, but not touching him. It just hovers above his shoulder, and it’s the thing that gives him the nerve to sign.

“Can we talk in private?” His hands are shaking, and it’s not actually a way of making the sentence secrete, since they all know ASL, but he doesn’t think he could say anything now.

It is a testament of how weird life is that Jason is the first to leave, without even being directed by anyone. Some of the others probably think that he doesn’t actually care about the conversation that’s about to happen, but Tim knows better. After all Tim’s the only one Jay allows to patrol Crime alley with him, the one Jay gave his old broken hood to, the one Jay shares book recommendations with. One way or another, he’s one of the main reasons Jason came back to Gotham. He’s not conceited enough to call himself Jason’s favorite, but in days Damien gets annoying enough, Jason might say it himself. Jason leaves because Tim needs him to, and to him it is as simple as that.

All the others have to be ushered away by Alfred, and the brat won’t walk until Bruce dismisses him, but eventually they’re alone. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if he can say anything.

“Do you want to sit down?” Bruce says. He shakes his head.

“Do you want water?” This time he nods. Bruce fills him a glass. Then another one.

He’s finishing his third glass when Bruce talks again.

“Look…” And Tim can barely believe it, but Bruce Wayne actually looks awkward right now. “We all know I’m not great when it comes to advice, God knows I made a lot of mistakes on that front with Dick and Jason. I mean Jason died from me telling him what to do, and I know he didn’t actually did what I told him to, but I knew how Jay worked by then I should have reverse psychology’ed him or something…”

Tim’s just staring at him now. Thankfully Bruce notices and pulls himself from that mess by himself.

“What I’m trying to say is… I’m not really going to give you a clean cut answer on what to do. But I love you kid.” Tim’s not proud to say he startles at that. It’s a new thing, ever since Bruce came back from the dead earlier this year, he’s been telling his children they’re important to him. Like a weirdo. “And I’m here. To listen to you. To help with what I can. I’d really like to help buddy.”

Maybe it’s the ‘buddy’ that does it. Tim is a sucker for affection and Bruce’s personal nicknames will usually calm any of them down. Maybe it is the fact that when Bruce tells him he loves him, he does it looking him in the eye, like it’s important he knows it, knows the truth of it. And Tim can see it’s true.

“I want to get top surgery” His voice is shaky. “But it’s complicated. I wouldn’t be able to do any work for a while, never mind patrolling. What if you guys need me?”

“Make no mistake you’ll be missed during your recovery.” Bruce’s hand does come down on his shoulder now. “But we have some competent people on WE. And we have Alfred here for nights.”

That gets a laugh out of him. But it’s very short lived.

“What if one of you gets taken? What if one of you gets…” Bruce’s hand is drawing circles in his back and he knows he can’t finish the sentence. Knows he doesn’t need to. “I was the one looking for you last year. I wouldn’t be able to look again.”

“Tim.” Bruce’s face is serious in a way it only gets when it’s about his family. Batman doesn’t get this much focus. “No one could possibly ask you to look again. You are the bravest, most brilliant man I’ve ever met, but it’s not your job to keep this family whole, you hear me? We’re a team. Through the good  **and** the bad.

You have every right in the world to worry about us, but you need to know we worry about you too. It’s a two way street, alright, kid?”

Tim can feel tears starting to fall, but he can’t break. There’s so much to talk about yet. He’s fidgeting with his medical bracelet.

“I don’t have a spleen. The recovery would take longer.” He really doesn’t want to say the next part. His voice is breaking already. “The recovery could not happen.”

Bruce’s arm tightens it’s hold on him. His face has fallen and he looks ready to throw up. It strikes him that he is now one of the only people in the world who have seen Batman scared.

“We have two health professionals at home. A nurse and a veteran doctor. We’ll have Leslie come over three times a week.” His adoptive father’s voice is clipped, like he’s reading off a script. “I know there are risks and this is scary. But it’s your decision, and if this is what you want, we’ll do everything we can to keep you safe.”

Tim turns to hug him. He’s getting Bruce’s shirt wet with tears. Bruce didn’t even take one second to think before hugging him back. And it’s been years, but it’s still so new to have this. To have people that really care, people that talk.

“I really want this, dad”

And when Bruce squeezes him harder in the hug, he knows it has nothing to do with distaste. He knows it’s not a calculated move. Bruce just loves and wants him to be safe.

So he hugs back just as hard.


End file.
